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You Can Disagree Without Being a Jerk
How to Push Back Respectfully and Keep Conversations Moving
Girvin
October 14, 2024
Hey Fam,
Imagine with me for a minute…
You're in a meeting.
Tensions are high.
Your colleague just pitched an idea so bad, you're wondering if they ate a bowl of stupid for breakfast.
Your options:
A) Rip their idea to shreds
B) Fake smile and nod
C) Try to turn this bad idea into a good one
Spoiler: C is your ticket to the top.
Here's the deal:
It’s already hard to make and maintain meaningful relationships.
Nowadays, it seems people unfriend each other over pizza topping preferences, so being able to disagree without being disagreeable isn't just a nice social skill.
It's essential for success in our personal and professional lives.
Why?
Because:
Innovation thrives on diverse perspectives
Echo chambers lead to stagnation and blind spots
Constructive conflict resolution is a key leadership skill
Intellectual growth comes from challenging and being challenged
Healthy disagreement builds stronger, more resilient relationships
But seriously: Disagreeing without being a jerk is tougher than resisting that "reply all" urge.
It requires emotional intelligence, intellectual humility, and practice.
It requires knowing how to turn what could be a disaster into an opportunity for great ideas to flow.
I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
You know I've got another framework for you.
It's called GRACE:
G - Ground yourself
R - Respect the other view
A - Ask curious questions
C - Clarify and confirm
E - Expand the conversation
Let's get it: