- Human Skills Edition
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- Why Everyone’s Wrong About Soft Skills
Why Everyone’s Wrong About Soft Skills —and How Mastering Them Could Be the Key to Your Next Big Break
Table of Contents
Imagine you’re in a room full of robots, each one better than you at every technical task imaginable.
Faster, more precise, and never need a coffee break.
But one thing they can’t do — connect on a human level.
That’s where you come in.
In a world that’s obsessed with hard skills and technical expertise, we often forget the secret weapon that sets us apart: being human.
So let’s get real about what it means to be great at human interaction.
You've heard the buzzwords:
human skills, people skills, and soft skills.
They are related but mean different things, and I’ve found that they are often used interchangeably.
So what's the difference, and why should you care?
→ Human skills are the foundation.
They’re the skills that help us connect and influence others meaningfully.
We’re talking empathy, communication, leadership, and adaptability. In an era where machines are taking over routine tasks, these uniquely human traits are becoming more valuable.
They’re what allow you to navigate complex situations, shape inclusive cultures, and build stronger teams by really understanding others.
Think negotiation, teamwork, and active listening.
These are your secret weapons for building positive relationships with colleagues and clients, resolving conflicts like a pro and collaborating effectively.
Whether you’re managing a team, serving customers working across departments, or picking up the mail, people skills are what allow you to connect and thrive socially anywhere.
→ Soft skills? They're the whole package.
They include both human and people skills plus a broader set of non-technical skills.
We’re talking creativity, time management, critical thinking—all those personal traits that complement your technical expertise.
Think of soft skills as the personal character traits, qualities, and habits that make you you.
Your work ethic, your attitude, and the way you interact with others are a few more examples of soft skills.
They’re the personal and interpersonal skills you bring to work and apply to your life every day.
Having a complete, strong soft skills set can make a big difference to your short-term and long-term career and life success.
In fact, once your soft skills set is as good (or better) than your hard skills set you’re all set to achieve big things.
You don’t just exist in the workplace and the world; you flourish!
I think Robert E. Levasseur sums it up best.
In the article "People Skills: Developing Soft Skills – A Change Management Perspective", he makes the following points and says while hard skills are important, soft skills are becoming more important and require intentional development strategies.
Definition and Classification of Soft Skills:
Soft skills, often known as interpersonal or social skills, are contrasted with hard skills, which include technical or administrative expertise.
Soft skills are categorized into four main groups:
personal (e.g., self-awareness),
interpersonal (e.g., communication),
group (e.g., collaboration), and
organizational (e.g., leadership).
Importance of Soft Skills:
Soft skills are critical across all disciplines including analytics, project management, and leadership.
Surveys show many employers prioritize interpersonal skills over technical skills for success in roles.
Lack of Soft Skills:
Many technical professionals lack soft skills which is partly due to educational systems that focus more on individual work and technical learning than on group projects that foster human interaction.
Soft skills can only be developed in real-world social contexts whereas technical skills can be learned individually.
Development of Soft Skills:
Soft skills are best developed through systemic change, combining internal motivation with a conducive environment. (In short, we cannot learn soft skills by reading a book. We need the help of other people.)
Theoretical models by Kurt Lewin and Urie Bronfenbrenner suggest that behavior results from an interaction between individuals and their environments. Thus, altering a person's environment or role (like participating in new group settings) can encourage ecological transitions that promote development.
"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
As I mentioned earlier:
Soft skills can be categorized into 4 main groups:
Personal (e.g., self-awareness),
Interpersonal (e.g., communication),
Group (e.g., collaboration), and
Organizational (e.g., leadership).
But let’s break down each of these:
Personal Soft Skills:
Self-Awareness: Knowing your emotions, strengths, and weaknesses.
Self-Regulation: Controlling your emotions and impulses.
Adaptability: Being flexible and open to change.
Time Management: Prioritizing and organizing tasks.
Resilience: Bouncing back from setbacks and staying positive.
Self-motivation: Finding internal motivation to pursue goals without external pressure.
Mindfulness: Being present and focused on the moment.
Stress Management: Identifying and using techniques to reduce stress.
Goal Setting: Setting achievable goals for personal and professional growth.
Personal Accountability: Taking responsibility for your actions and decisions.
Critical thinking: Objectively analyzing and evaluating information, situations and arguments to make informed decisions or solve problems.
Interpersonal Soft Skills:
Communication: Verbal and written expression.
Empathy: Understanding and sharing others’ feelings.
Active Listening: Listening attentively and responding thoughtfully.
Conflict Resolution: Resolving disagreements.
Negotiation: Finding solutions that benefit all.
Persuasion: Influencing to get others’ support or agreement.
Rapport Building: Building friendly relationships with others.
Non-Verbal Communication: Body language.
Respect: Acknowledging and valuing others’ ideas and feelings.
Networking: Building and maintaining professional relationships.
"How you engage with people, how you listen, how you communicate, and how you show empathy are critical soft skills that define your success in any environment."
Group Soft Skills:
Collaboration: Working together towards a common goal.
Delegation: Assigning tasks based on team members’ strengths.
Trust Building: Creating mutual respect and reliability among team members.
Motivation: Inspiring team members to achieve goals.
Creativity: Brainstorming and developing innovative solutions together.
Feedback Giving/Receiving: Giving and receiving constructive feedback with teammates.
Facilitation: Leading groups to a consensus or achieving objectives.
Team Building: Building a team through shared activities and values.
Inclusivity: Making everyone feel valued and included in the group effort.
Problem-Solving: Tackling challenges collaboratively to find effective solutions.
"Your ability to build relationships, communicate clearly, and inspire others will often outweigh your technical skills in determining your long-term success."
Organizational Soft Skills:
Leadership: Guiding teams or organizations with a clear vision and purpose.
Change Management: Managing and leading change in the organization.
Strategic Thinking: Planning and executing strategies to achieve long-term goals.
Decision-Making: Making informed and timely decisions for the organization.
Cultural Awareness: Understanding and valuing different cultures and perspectives.
Vision Setting: Creating a compelling future vision for the organization.
Talent Development: Recognizing and nurturing employees' skills for growth.
Resource Management: Allocating time, people, and money efficiently.
Innovation Management: Encouraging new ideas and managing the innovation process.
Organizational Communication: Ensuring information is shared across all levels.
"It's not the strongest or the smartest who will survive, but those who can best manage change. Soft skills like adaptability, resilience, and empathy are key to navigating life's challenges."
- Eric Thomas
The Top 10 In-Demand Soft Skills in the AI EraThe Top 10 In-Demand Soft Skills in the AI Era
If you ask people what soft skill is most important, you may get different answers.
But I was reading the recent Forbes article by Rachel Wells titled The Top 10 In-Demand Soft Skills To Learn In 2024, Based On Research which references research from the World Economic Forum’s Skills Outlook for the Future of Jobs 2023 report and analysis from CashNet USA of more than 17 million American job listings on Indeed.com.
The World Economic Forum’s research concluded that"emerging technologies such as generative AI are reshaping workforce demands, and employers are placing greater emphasis on 'soft' skills. These skills allow companies to respond to change and are resistant to automation."
The analysis resulted in 10 soft skills being identified as the top priority in the US:
Strategic thinking
Negotiation
Persuasion
Presentation skills
Critical thinking
Mentoring
Emotional intelligence
Innovation
Financial management
Resilience
All of this makes sense to me and aligns with my research and experience.
While doing research for my book Fired Up! A Guide to Transforming Your Team from Burnout to Engagement, I became more and more aware that in a world obsessed with technological advancement (e.g. AI) the real competitive edge lies in soft skills like emotional intelligence, persuasive communication, empathy, leadership, and creative problem solving – skills we will get into.
But there’s a subtle point to be made…
It’s not about competing with technological advancements like AI.
It’s about using our uniquely human skills alongside technological advancements to lead, inspire, and make a lasting impact.
So, if it’s not clear by now…in today’s diverse and changing workplaces soft skills are a must for navigating challenges, solving problems, and communicating across teams and departments.
Here’s the thing: while AI can mimic some technical skills, these human skills are our superpower. They’re what make us irreplaceable in a world of algorithms and automation.
So, how do you do it?
First, you can’t learn these skills by just reading a book. You need real-world practice and interaction with others.
Learn frameworks and systems to develop key soft skills.
Tune into your emotional intelligence. Practice active listening – not just hearing words but understanding the emotions and motivations behind them. Be empathetic – even (especially) when it’s hard.
Lead with authenticity – be yourself and bring out the best in others.
Remember, in a world of technical expertise it’s your soft skills that will make you stand out. They’re what will help you build relationships, influence decisions and drive innovations that no machine can replicate.
Are you ready to own your humanity as your biggest professional asset?
Yes, you say? Good.
That’s what we help you do with our newsletter.
Because in the race against the machines being human isn’t just an advantage – it’s your winning strategy.
Be easy!
Girvin