Navigate Conflict in Ways That Build Trust

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Last week I learned of two senior leaders who almost sunk a collaboration.

Not because of financials. Not because of market fit. Not because of compliance issues.

But because of how they each wanted to handle the timelines.

One wanted to rush.
One wanted to be thorough.
Both thought they were right.

Instead of digging in, the more experienced exec paused: "Help me understand what worries you most about moving too slowly?"

That one question led to a compromised approach and more importantly, transformed their relationship.

Here’s what I love about organizational conflict:

When done well, conflict doesn’t destroy trust—it builds it.

Whoa, right?

After more than a decade studying organizational behavior and conflict resolution, one thing is clear:

We've often confused harmony with health.

Why This Matters Now

Because:

• Remote work has made conflicts harder to spot and fix

• Cross-functional teams mean more perspectives (and more friction)

• Economic pressure is increasing workplace stress

• Complex problems require more collaboration than ever

• Trust is the new money

But here’s the thing most people miss:

Let me show you how to grab it.

I call it the BRIDGE framework for navigating conflicts and building trust:

The BRIDGE Framework

B - Begin with acknowledgment
R - Reveal underlying interests
I - Investigate shared goals
D - Design collaborative solutions
G - Grow from the experience
E - Establish forward momentum

Let’s get it:

B - Begin with Acknowledgment

Think of this like opening a door:

• Start every difficult conversation with "I understand why..."

• Name and validate the emotions you're observing without judgment

• Express genuine appreciation for their willingness to engage

• Create safety by showing respect for different viewpoints

What breaks trust: "You're overreacting."
What builds trust: "I can see why this matters deeply to you."

R - Reveal Underlying Interests

Think of this like being a detective:

• Ask "What's most important to you about this?"

• Listen for unstated concerns and aspirations

• Share your own underlying motivations openly

• Look for hidden areas of alignment

What breaks trust: "Just tell me what you want."
What builds trust: "Help me understand what's driving your concern."

I - Investigate Shared Goals

Think of this like finding true north:

• Identify larger objectives both parties care about

• Focus conversation on long-term mutual success

• Frame conflicts as shared problems to solve together

• Find overlapping priorities and interests

What breaks trust: "My way is the only way forward."
What builds trust: "What are we both trying to achieve here?"

D - Design Collaborative Solutions

Think of this like building together:

• Generate options without judgment

• Build on each other's ideas actively

• Test solutions against shared criteria

• Look for opportunities to expand value

What breaks trust: "Here's what we're going to do."
What builds trust: "How might we solve this together?"

G - Grow from Experience

Think of this like creating a playbook:

• Document what worked and what didn't

• Acknowledge progress and celebrate small wins

• Build conflict resolution muscle as a team

• Turn insights into improved processes

What breaks trust: "Let's just move on."
What builds trust: "What did we learn that will help us next time?"

E - Establish Forward Momentum

Think of this like maintaining momentum:

• Set clear next steps and ownership

• Schedule regular check-ins on progress

• Measure results against shared goals

• Plan ahead for potential obstacles

What breaks trust: "We'll figure it out later."
What builds trust: "Here's how we'll stay aligned moving forward."

Let’s See BRIDGE in Action

Imagine you're navigating a heated product launch debate.

• Begin with Acknowledgment: "I understand Marketing's urgency to capture market share and Engineering's commitment to product quality."

• Reveal Underlying Interests: In separate conversations: "What worries you most about moving too fast/slow?"

• Investigate Shared Goals: "Seems we all want a successful launch that builds customer trust. Let's start there."

• Design Collaborative Solutions: Create a phased launch plan together: "How might we combine speed and quality?"

• Grow from Experience: Document the compromise process for future launches.

• Establish Forward Momentum: Set weekly cross-team check-ins with clear metrics.

Result: A stronger product, faster timeline, and most importantly - a blueprint for future collaboration.

POLL

Remember, it's not about winning the argument - it's about winning the relationship.

Every conflict handled well becomes a deposit in your trust bank.

Thanks for reading. Be easy!
Girvin

P.S. Share a time when a well-handled conflict actually made a relationship stronger. What exactly did you say or do?